Have you ever felt like God’s given you more than you can bear? I have. During dark days as I trekked through memories of childhood sexual abuse, I cried out to God. “It’s too much!” After major back surgery when muscle spasms sent excruciating pain throughout my body over and over again, the suffering was more than I could withstand. Or when my 28-year marriage crumbled and died. Oh Lord, I sobbed, I won’t survive this.
But I’ve heard many Christians say, “God never gives us more than we can bear.” They mean well, but that claim and reality don’t seem to match up.
Hasn’t the groom whose bride was killed on their honeymoon experienced grief beyond bearing? Or the mother of the bride who will never see her daughter’s smile again? Isn’t that pain too much?
And what about Christ?
They spit on him, and took the staff and struck him on the head
again and again. After they had mocked him…they led him away
to crucify him (Matthew 26:30-31).
Christ suffered unto death.
So what’s the truth? The claim that God never gives us more than we can bear comes from a verse often misquoted:
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And
God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can
bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so
that you can stand up under it (1 Corinthians 10:13).
I find comfort in that verse. It assures me I’m not the wimp I was tempted to believe I am. The truth is that God won’t allow us to experience temptation beyond what we can bear. Suffering is a different story.
When we’re tempted to comfort ourselves through the grief of losing a loved one by escaping from our pain through destructive measures, God offers us the Comforter, His Spirit, who walks us through the valley of the shadow of death. When we’re tempted to believe, based on circumstances, that God doesn’t love us, He reminds us of His beloved Son, who He sent to die for us.
Scripture warns us—even promises us—that we’ll bear tribulation here on earth. But as James reminds us, our time here is but a vapor. It is just the beginning. For reasons I don’t understand, God allows the prince of darkness to rule on earth. He allows suffering.
I must chose, in faith, to believe there is something more—that as I share in the sufferings of Christ, someday soon, I will meet Jesus face to face. I will know Him by the scars He bears. I will live for eternity in the light of the Father’s love—a Father who sacrificed His own son–who walked through the pain of death—for me. And for you. So that He might save us for eternity.
Have you experienced more than you can bear?
Are you tempted to turn your back on the One who allows your suffering?
Or are you holding fast to the hope of eternity?
As we share with one another and build a community through this blog, I pray we will offer one another the love, encouragement, and gracious embrace of Jesus Christ.
When my 30-year old son passed away a year after being diagnosed with cancer, I truly felt that I was living in the valley of the shadow of death. I clung to that verse with the vision that I would one day walk through the end of the valley of darkness and into the light. Sometimes in my grief, I could not pray, I just was. I look forward to the day when I will see My Golden Child again in perfection and glory! Until then, God continues to sustain me.
Jane, thank you for sharing your heart. You’ve walked through the valley. Whether it’s the death of a loved one, the death of innocence, or the death of a marriage–God walks beside us. He never leaves us. Such a comfort and blessing.
Ginny
I can only cry for the little girl that suffered abuse and the grownup that will always remember it….it’s not fair, but you will help someone else thru the darkness of it.
I cry for the back pain that was relentless and know that someone there will be no more back pain.
I cry for 28 years of marriage that is gone….but you are young, you are beautiful and I pray God sends you someone to walk beside you.
no life isn’t easy, but He didn’t promise easy just that He would walk beside us. so many lonely times would have smothered me if not for Him. I’m glad we have Him and our hope for eternity….Come Lord Jesus.
Amen, Virginia! And thank you for your kind words. It is so often the body of Christ who offers us comfort.
Thank you for your comforting words. I do find them comforting, but it is “Christians” at my (our) church who have broken and emptied my heart. It is close to distruction. I do not want to go back. My soul has been stolen by childish, selfish ways. I am seeing a Therapist, but this should have been dealt with weeks ago and not escalated to anywhere near this point. I have been broken.
Christi, I think it’s those who are supposed to love us that are capable of wounding us most deeply. I pray for restoration and God’s comfort for you.
Ginny
Nothing is more unbearable than others selfishly hurting us while using God as a cover. Sometimes the only comfort is to notice that, even in the Bible, those who are most discouraged, even wanting to die, are those who have been wounded and betrayed by close friends and people claiming to represent God–David, Elijah, Job, Paul, Stephen…Jesus. May you sense him bearing with you what cannot be borne alone.
Thank you. I was thinking about this very issue on my morning walk.
Christi and Jane, it is in that brokeness that God will use you. Christi, being very familiar with what you are talking about…can you find another church? Coming from a small town I really can’t, but after letting it get the better of me, I’ve decided I’m going back and pray that God gives me His grace in my situation. Then if it still bothers me to that extent, I’ll go to my pastor and hope he has some sage advice….he is alot younger and I can see the look on his face now…LoL so let’s all lift each other up in prayer, that He will use what has been broken, taken or destroyed and use it to His glory. thanks Ginny love your blog…
Sometimes I think we think that it is more than we can bear, so that we will turn to him and ask for the help He so willingly offers.
We are such independent women, and have been raised to be so, that it is often times hard to remember that we need Jesus, until we are at the end of our ropes and have exhausted all we can do on our own, it is then He is able to bring us to the foot of the cross where we should have been all along. What a loving and caring Father we have.
He has shown me time and time again, “You can not do this on your own”. And He is so right.
Thank you for your this 🙂 .Sometimes I just want to rest in Him. Sometimes I daydream about being with my Jesus in eternity and all the strife being over and then when I return to reality and understand that I am not yet there, that is much to bear. I desperately wish that I could super glue myself to Him and never separate from His hug. But I love that He constantly reminds us of His everpresent Spirit and loving comfort. I am 22 and I’ve been married 10 months and have only lived with my husband 3 of those months and he’s about to deploy overseas for a year. I look ahead to what I know I’m about to face and I know I have two choices: fear of the isolation and separation or assurance that by clinging to my Savior I will be secure and overcome. I suppose I am straddling the two now, but I trust that my Lord will be my husband, just as He has been and is my daddy.
Wow, Jenna! I’ll be praying for you…and your husband. And yes, the Lord will be your husband–your all. He is your Beloved.