I’m in a holding pattern and, I confess, I hate it. I’m part of the immediate gratification culture in which I live, and I find myself frustrated that gratification, in this instance, is so long delayed.
Why God? I’m tempted to ask. Or, What have I done wrong, Lord, that you’re punishing me in this way? Or, leaving God out of the equation all together, What’s wrong with me?
The accuser’s voice asks questions of its own: Do you know how many people are depending on you? It’s crazy to wait on God, don’t you know that? And, because the accuser’s voice and my voice often sound alike, What’s wrong with you?
I could force the issue and just take off on my own. At this juncture, with people depending on me, that seems like the wise choice. But something holds me back: Experience. I’ve walked with God too long to take off without Him.
So like the Psalmist, I cry:
How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
But again, my experience, like the Psalmist’s, informs me:
But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
for he has been good to me.
Psalm 14
Yes, Lord, as I wait, I recall Your goodness to me–your love and your salvation.
I will trust You.
Are you waiting on God for something? How’s the wait going for you?
Ginny L. Yttrup
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- Raising Men April 17, 2014If I’d known then what I know now… When I held those precious babes bundled in blue. When during the night watches I rocked them to the rhythm of my prayers. When I was their whole world and innocence was still their reality. If I’d known then… I would have held them tighter. Prayed harder. […]Ginny L. Yttrup
- Rooted August 15, 2013I pounded the letters into metal—over and over—one letter at a time. The stamped jewelry was part of a 200+ piece custom order bearing the group’s theme. I saw the letters during the days as I worked. I dreamt the letters at night. I knew the letters in both English and Spanish. But the word […]Ginny L. Yttrup
- Really? September 13, 2012I’m in the midst of a season where I feel like all I say to God is, “Really?” While the question is the same, the tone, I confess, changes. Sometimes it’s laced with saracasm as in, “Really, God? You’re kidding, right?” Other times it’s asked in awe. The picture above reflects one of those […]Ginny L. Yttrup
- I Don’t Understand… July 16, 2012I woke this morning with a searing pain in my throat and a fog of discouragement hovering over my mind and heart. Why am I here? Orlando and the International Christian Retailers Show? I arrived in the wee hours on Sunday morning and have only left my hotel room to venture to a nearby pharmacy […]Ginny L. Yttrup
- Keeping Up April 27, 2012I often read the daily selections from Oswald Chambers’ My Utmost for His Highest. I like the way Chambers’ cuts to the quick: “Beware of any work for God that causes or allows you to avoid concentrating on Him (April 23).” Last night, like many nights of late, I didn’t sleep. It’s a season of […]Ginny L. Yttrup
Oh, I’ve been there (and still am there.) I hate the waiting…but I know he uses it to build my character even though it turns me into a tantrum-throwing toddler.
Love to you, my friend!
A tantrum-throwing toddler? I’m shocked! Ha! Actually, I so get that. It is hard to wait and that is often the response that’s most tempting, isn’t it. But I’m learning when I realize that God is with me in the waiting, it’s less painful to wait. 🙂
Ginny – I feel your pain! The waiting process involves discernment. And Often God calls us to discern the next steps completely based on faith – not sight. (OUCH!) This is not easy.
Although He does give us a brain for a reason, and wants us to use it, very often He calls us to steps of faith that go contrary to conventional wisdom. You are a moment like that now.
I find some of the most challenging times of waiting and discerning for me happen in relation to financial issues. Do I take this job or do I not? Do I add more work to my plate or do I not? The obvious answer always seems to be “yes, do the work and earn the income you need to cover your expenses.” But many times God has invited me to simply wait and trust that He had a different way of providing for me.
When I’ve been able to walk by faith in these stuff-of-life issues, God has shown up and blessed and provided in ways I could never have imagined. I’m praying that for you today, sister.
🙂 Linda
Linda, we share similar faith experiences with God. I agree–He often works in ways that belie conventional wisdom. The accuser still tries to have his way with me, but I recognize that voice and turn back to truth. Recently, God keeps bringing to my attention the thought that He is so much more important than the work He’s called me to do. So…He is my focus.
But my backend is getting tired spending so much time in the chair waiting! 🙂
Ugh, my least favorite topic! Not for blogging, but for living. God and I never seem to agree on the timing of things, and he definitely enjoys the wait more than I do.
“I’ve walked with God too long to take off without him.”–I love that. Thank you for walking your faith in front of us.
I wait in solidarity with you,
Janet
Oh, yes, I know waiting. I’ve been to pub board a few times. So many, in fact, I think they installed a revolving door just for me. 🙂 But I’ve come to know that God has the exact right time and place for me. So now, when things don’t workout, I smile and borrow a line from Jenny Cote and say, “Bless their hearts. They’re not the chosen one.”
That can work for anything. Try it. It feels really good! :o)